kitchen days

School's been a whirlwind, things, people, work.

I'm into my 2nd term now. Less than a year to go till graduation. Just into my 3rd month of apprenticeship. Soon i guess. But will it be soon enough ?

Shoulder blade's inflamed and it seems pretty bad recalling the crap i used to get back from track. Ought to eat more bananas i suppose. Besides, what're the chances of resting it at work ? Sigh.

Likely got it from the prolonged repetitive movements (dicing shallots perhaps?) at work. Then it really became pronounced when i carried the heavy bag on an arm walking all the way to Hark after (an extra long day of) work to have dinner and catch Pineapple performing.

It's strange when i look at the date and realise how the year is about to end and i have barely a decent entry here. Then i recall how i've pretty much spilt my heart out in that little Black Book. Memories of travel, of sights, of people, of loves and losses.

I miss my strange and merry little friends. Adrien, Robin, Felix, Fernanda, Hannah, Macarena, Coco, David, Fredo, Imke. Antonin.

So many cards i ought to have written but didnt have the time to. Feels like spare time is all occupied by him lately. Wonders. It was a strange beginning and currently what feels like a queer journey, but i'm still praying for a happy ending.

staring into steel blue eyes.

this time what i want is you

there is no one else

who can take your place

this time you burn me with your eyes

you see past all the lies

you take it all away

i've seen it all

and it's never enough

it keeps leaving me needing you

take me away
take me away
i've got nothing left to say
just take me away

4.5 months down.

Cant believe i'm down to my last month now.

I've had a great time in general i guess.

But i'm somewhat angry at myself for not being able to let go of some people, some things. People whom i loved, who i still love, who i trusted, who i still trust. People who are disappointing me.

People who i thought meant the world to me, not even able to tell me things that are happening. Big things. Jo, on moving on, seeing someone. Is it that hard to say ? When mentioned that you dont have time, it's annoying how it seems like you do for everyone else. But then again, i wouldnt know. Both because you're too busy to tell and because i no longer needed need to be told. Then you finally admitted that you're seeing someone.

I feel upset, kinda. Not so much by the moving on. In a way, it's good that we're coming to terms, have come to terms with it. I'm happy about it. I just wish we had a better closure, done properly, had a nice chat in person. I just wish i still had my best friend. You knew you were pretty much my best friend didnt you ? And now it just feels like you're choosing to walk away from it with just a line saying "i'm busy, you need to acknowledge we're no longer walking the same path". How hurtful. Then again, if you told me earlier, knowing myself, maybe i would have walked away and gave you room instead.

I had times here when i felt like i'm all alone. It's different when you're travelling, you cant even call home because your damn timezone is messed up. You dont even know anyone here. Not one. Then the best friend whom you used to have who is a mere 2 hours away doesnt have time for you. It sucks. Especially when you're the kind who would put down the relationship for a friend in need. It sucks when you think this past relationship is not even at this level of friendship.

I knew it would be her from the start. From a year ago, i figured all along. I guess i really do read some things too well.


The last two nights i keep thinking of the words i should have said, the things i should have done in the last 2 months when i was still up Mt Cook. How i could have been more honest, both to myself, john and the people around us. Go for the messed up characters, always end up going for them. Joseph's right. Trouble finds me, but then again i also do seem to look for trouble.

I wonder if i can say he's more responsible then. By blatantly admitting that he's messed up, dont get involved. Travel changes people. I wonder how far i'll go just to pursue things. It must be the air.

more news from aotearoa

Hello all,

Greetings from kiwiland again. The helpX at Whitianga was interesting in a good way. Different from what i expected but was pretty enjoyable nonetheless.

Met some people there and got on pretty good terms with them. Was planning to go for Hawke's Bay's Food and Wine festival on the 29th so needed to arrive around the 27th for it. Planned to go up to Auckland with Bob (my host) to transfer onto a bus to Hastings but instead went with Coco and David to Te Puke since there was also a bus from there to Hastings.

Trip with them was great since they drove, they stopped at several places along the way, so got to see some sights, such as the giant L&P bottle, etc.

I went by the giant kiwi (Kiwi360) in Te Puke. It was pretty hilarious in a way. Stopped at Rotorua for 7 hours, so went to the museum while i was there. The air seriously smells of rotten eggs, despite not having any bubbly mud nearby - relatively anyway. Rotorua's museum was really interesting. Chronicles the building's history as a bathhouse, how the "natural hot spring" industry came about as well as the Maori 28th B Battlion (men who were mainly drafted from Rotorua and its neighbours). I had really good butter chicken at an Indian resturant while there. I asked for a cheese naan and half the butter chicken to be packed into a takeaway box.

So yup. At Hastings now. Had a bad start upon arrival. My phone died on the bus, and because i was meeting Fernanda and Marcarena at the bus stop there (they were coming on a bus from Auckland after collecting their extra luggages up there), i needed to call them to check where they were - their bus, supposed to arrive before mine arrived late. And, because i dont have the number or map of where the backpackers were, it was half panic mode. Anyway, i tried a payphone nearby - which was spoilt. The working one needed a card. Which obviously i didnt have.

I asked a lady nearby, who claims that she doesnt have a phone. Tried a group of men who claimed "it's an ipod" (despite it not have headphones attached to it), "oh, it's yadayadaya, why dont you try the noodle shop opposite the road". Went to noodle shop, boss was some hong kong guy who spoke limited english, smiled when i enter, asked for phone, started to shake head, "huh??", the staff told the boss in canto that i wanted to borrow the phone, the boss "replied saying he knows, but calling needs money" then he uttered something along the lines of sorry to me. Left, went into another 2 shops which didnt appear to have a phone, noticed group of men looking at my direction as i went around. Finally managed to get the call at a roast deli further down. Funny thing is that while i was walking from one shop to another, i noticed one of the 3 men in the group i approached checking the payphones. Like seriously wth. After i managed my call, one of the man came up to me to point out that i dropped some cards (not surprising, i had a backpack, a daypack and a camera case on me and the cards were in the open camera case). Urgh.

That wasnt the end of it, as of today, it's been "3 days of unfortunate incidents in Hastings". Toda's my 3rd day here.

Anyway, was initially planning to get a fruit picking job in Hastings, but before i left Purangi with Coco and David, i got a call from Glentanner Holiday Park in the South Island, near Mount Cook. They were offerring me a barista position at 15/hr (holiday pay inclusive) with stay at the park for 100/week (power included, laundry free). Which is a really good deal since most backpackers charge about 125/week + laundry = payable and horitculture jobs giving minimum pay of $12.75/hr (holiday pay exclusive). Was undecided about it since i wanted to go for WOMAD in Taranaki (North Island) BUT, due to the horrid encounters, i figure it's a sign that Hastings isnt my place, despite how much i wanted to like this place. Will be doing some stuff around Hastings and Napier then running off i guess.

Will be flying to Christchurch i guess. I've booked a $195 wine tour for monday. It's a full day tour (lunch inclusive) + the guide is apparently really good, so fingers crossed, hoping for the best !

hello travels. please play nice.

Sky City as seen from Victoria Park Market

It's been almost 1 and a half week now. This is late, very. Still, hello New Zealand, hello Auckland. I've arrived. (:

Parnell, Auckland. Along the yellow brick road.

It's been pretty interesting, Auckland central has been very bustling. But i guess what struck me the most has to be yesterday's trip to Manukau City - went there to get my IRD done. The bus trip there and back was weird in the sense, you really see and feel the difference people talk about in cities. All the social and class difference; same city, different vibe.

The Pacific Islanders are the main residents in that area and i guess, if in Auckland central, Asians are common in a 20% to 30% ratio, there, it was like a 2% to 3% ratio. I get weird looks once in a while in town, but there, i really stuck out. The bus went by several residential districts and i felt my heart tremble at the thought of the people who are stuck there, not because of their abilities but because of their birth. It was like comparing houses in Orchard to the ones in Little India. Confused, really.

Still, the art and vibe there was amazing. Not in Manukau City Central itself but along the way. The graffiti, the community, it felt different from Auckland central. In a way, Auckland in comparison seems to lack a soul, or more specifically, seem to lack a true spirit.

Glass boxes, well preserved buildings, false villages. Beautiful, amazing, but beneath that superficiality, is anything real. Is the organic beauty i see truly birthed on its own ?